I'm Scared Of Going To The Gym For The First Time...
Are you a beginner that is scared of going to the gym?
Then you are now in the right place.
Hi, I’m Adam Berry known as The Gym Starter, and I want to help address these issues for you. I want to outline strategies and actionable plans you can put in place to actually get yourself to put that first foot in the door because once you are there…hopefully over time the benefits you will gain from being in that place will become so addictive you will wonder why you ever worried about the experience in the first place.
THE GYM…That place, over there. You know of it…you are aware of the benefits of it, and really and truly you know that you should go there. But that doesn’t help you get over the anxiety, worry, and fear about what the experience will be like when you actually arrive.
The judgment. The looks. Not wanting to hurt yourself. Are all totally understandable and reasonable concerns for you to have when it comes to going to the gym. But this article is here to help you to stop being scared of the fortress of grunting men.
Firstly, I want to say it is totally normal to be scared of going to the gym.
There are lots of terms that relate to this topic:
Gym Anxiety
Fear of the Gym
Phobia of Working Out
Embarrassed to go to the Gym
Scared of exercise
Scared of the gym
If you relate to any of these feelings then this article is perfect for you.
Before we get into it, here is a little story about myself.
This was me in 2009. A very skinny, very wild-eyed early 20-something.
Fresh out of Drama School and just trying to live the actor’s life. Personally, I really hate this photo of myself. That T-Shirt I am wearing is a size S from Topman. I am 6ft 4. Every time I wore it I had to keep pulling it down or wear my jeans like Simon Cowell.
I had a wardrobe of t-shirts like this, all because I needed them to fit tight, to try and make me look a little bit more muscly.
I wasn’t exactly a Gym goer. I used to try. Then I would fail miserably. Simply because I was so much smaller, and lifting weights that were so light compared to everyone else in the Gym…I really didn’t feel comfortable.
And now I’m a Personal Trainer. And within that space, I have been petrified of the gym.
One very memorable example was for about 6 months of my career I had no idea how to get a client to lift a barbell. I was personally too scared to get a client to use a Barbell.
Every single one of my friends who have worked with me has been very scared of being in the Gym. They work with me because:
“You’re the guy that won’t judge me”
Now you know some more about me, I would love it if we became friends. As part of our friendship, I’ll email you things. Sometimes they will be educational, sometimes they will be inappropriate, and sometimes I might just want to know how you are; either way…it will be pretty awesome.
So just fill in the form below and send me a friend request…
Oh, and I will also send you some free fitness goodies to help start our new friendship off on the best foot possible.
Now we are friends… Let’s continue the article…
In fact, take my friend Natalie who worked with me one on one, and is now a part of my Online Coaching Program. To say I am proud of her is an understatement. Natalie has Cerebal Palsy which affects her lower limbs. As you can imagine she has been worried about how she would be able to interact with a Gym environment herself, let alone what others might think of her.
But since she started working with me, she is in the gym three times a week and has had the most incredible transformation, not only in her physical body but her mental strength and inner confidence have jumped leaps and bounds.
Every single day, Natalie makes me prouder and prouder and it is my honour to be able to call such a great friend.
Or there is my other friend Nicola.
Nicola was shaking when she first stepped foot in the Gym with me. Shaking to the bone. I couldn’t get her to focus on anything…and we had such a great time! She was shaking through fear, but neither of us could stop laughing and enjoying ourselves.
Nicola no longer works with me, but she is an incredible friend still. We worked together for 18 months and to be able to take her from how petrified she was initially to where she finished up was amazing.
I think we have time for my favourite story about Nicola. She was doing Step-Ups onto a medium-sized height stool and I can’t remember exactly what happened. She was probably chatting away to me, or she just forgot to get enough of her foot on the stool, and she fell off it.
Bang.
Just hit the floor. It surprised us both. She looked at me in shock.
And I love it when my friends fall over in the gym. Not because I am a sadist but because of the opportunity if gives me to teach my friends about the word FEAR.
All fear is, is the following:
“False Expectation Appearing Real”
Now, of course, Nicola had a fear of falling over, as we all do. But the second she hit the floor, I checked she was ok and then asked her the following question.
“Look at what has happened. Look around and tell me what you see….?”
Her reply was:
“Nothing. I see nothing. I just see everyone else working out and carrying on”
“Exactly” I smiled.
“One of your biggest fears about the gym has just happened…and that fear was a false expectation which you thought would become real. But it didn’t. The difference between the story in your head, and the way the world actually works is very different”
But see for yourself how scared of the Gym Nicola was. Watch her video here:
I have only been dealing with people who are scared to go to the gym my entire adult life. First, it was me, then it was a fair majority of my friends who I have worked with over the years.
The only reason I have been able to be The Gym Starter is that I understood their troubles. I went through it too and I knew how I could help them overcome their anxiety and fear as well.
So whether or not you are too scared to go to the gym because:
It will be your first time
You are scared of being judged
You think you are too fat and don’t belong
You have a fear of working out
Then you have found the right person, and the right article to inspire you to get up and head to the Gym.
Because deep down, we all belong there.
TABLE OF CONTENTS FOR “I'm Scared Of Going To The Gym For The First Time...”
WATCH THE YOUTUBE VIDEO FOR THIS ARTICLE RIGHT HERE:
Before we get started, I just want to make it clear that I am not here writing about how to get over social anxiety, the anxiety of places filled with people or any other condition that really and truly seeing a therapist would be the best course of action. My advice is literally about getting the foot in the door of the gym and is here to help alleviate some worries you may have about the process of being in, going to and experiencing a gym.
In truth, we are all beginners
I remember quite succinctly a time when I was being paid by clients to put together workouts for them, and I was scared of using a barbell.
For two reasons this occurred:
I was worried I wouldn’t be able to lift the weight I needed for a client and therefore I would get found out as a fraud in my field and a new career.
I had no idea how, why, or what they were used for. I knew how to do a Bench Press…but I didn’t really know the art behind it and how to utilize it for prime movement.
Why am I telling you this? Well…for point number one basically one of your best weapons in the gym would be to realize we pretty much all make it up. We all explore. Whenever a new friend joins my Online Coaching Program and there is a moment where they need feedback on how to do an exercise. It will take them ages to post the video. They can send it to me via email, but I would prefer it goes into our Members Only Facebook Group because that way everyone can learn from it.
It takes them ages. I will always get a DM saying that they were just too scared to post it because in their mind two things are happening.
Firstly, they think: “Oh my God! I’m doing it wrong!”.
Secondly, they think that everyone in the Group will laugh at what they are doing.
What they forget is that everyone in the group has been a beginner. They aren’t sitting there judging every single video of everyone else, and everyone else isn’t sitting there judging their videos.
Everyone is just pleased to see someone else is making progress.
And this isn’t because its on the internet. This happens in Gyms as well. I have spent many many many many hours in the Gym and not once have I seen someone else judge somebody in a very negative way based on what they are doing in the Gym.
The gym is the epitome of:
Back to: “Oh my God! I’m doing it wrong!”
You aren’t. You can’t. There is one thing that the gym is there for…and that is the exploration of your body. It’s not there for right or wrong… it’s simply there for exploration.
The very first thing I tell my clients is this:
“There is no right or wrong just exploration”
And I cannot emphasize that point enough.
Of course, there is optimal form, and sub-optimal form, but you will move towards optimal form as you learn about yourself, as you watch others, and as you feel your body move in this prescribed setting.
And point number two is a little reminder of imposter syndrome. Whenever anyone (and I mean anyone) tries something new, they feel fraudulent. They feel like they have no idea what they are doing and will totally get found out very soon.
Well just remember, there I was taking money off of clients and at times I had to make it up as I went along. A gym is a place of perpetual development, education and understanding. If you take that attitude into your new regime, then you will undoubtedly not worry about what is “right” or “wrong”. What will happen is that you will embrace the process and the exploration of what you are trying to achieve.
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Your Fear of Injury
I’m not going to lie. Yes of course there is a risk of physical injury when you explore something physical. But what I would say to you is this.
The percentage rates of someone injuring themselves in the gym are far less than taking up a new sport like Running, Football, or even non-contact sports like Netball. I have been on many football pitches in the UK as a Semi-Professional Referee and the Injury rate was far higher than anything I have seen or experienced in the gym.
Find out the stats about injuries in the Gym by reading my article right here:
I also remember one client of mine had to take a few weeks out for a sprained ankle when she returned to playing Netball…as opposed to anything we did on the Gym Floor. There are many benefits to playing a social sport, and I would wholly encourage that in anyone, but if you want to explore those sports then please remember a gym is a place that protects you from Injury.
Not puts you at risk of it.
My Mum is a prime example of this. She is 62 years young as I write this and about 3 years ago she was diagnosed with osteoporosis (a condition that is a degenerative skeletal disease that can only be managed, not cured), simply put her joints and bones were aching and rattling.
Her wrists were particularly bad. She used to comment often on her aches and pains, and how this diagnosis was a hindrance to her life….and it got to a point where I had to tell her that strength training was the best foot forward against this diagnosis.
I recorded a very simple yet effective Kettlebell Workout for her to perform at home, to begin with, and within weeks she reported back to me a feeling of strength and far fewer aches. I now see her in the gym once a week, put her through her paces, and I’ve never heard her mutter the word osteoporosis.
Now the Gym hasn’t cured her, but it has created bone density and helped manage her condition within her.
On top of that, she now does my 15 Minute Home Workout Routine for the Over 60s at least three times a week, and I can’t remember the last time she mentioned her condition.
Worrying About Judgement From Others
The Big Muscly Men
This is probably the single biggest hindrance to people from feeling comfortable in the Gym. The big muscles and flexing biceps of the men who have been lifting since they first Arnie in 1979. And they are loud. Really loud. And intimidating. And they just generally scare the proverbial out of you every time you consider going near a dumbbell in that part of the gym.
This is a reality that we all face. I promise. But this is your best weapon against said men, so listen up…
“No one in the gym is judging you more than you are judging yourself.”
If someone looks like they have enough muscles to lift a small building, and they grunt and groan as they do that…they have no idea you even exist.
Firstly…lifting weights like that takes an extreme amount of effort and self-focus, and it shows that this person is extremely disciplined in their training. They aren’t going to be distracted by you walking up to a weight and trying to figure out what to do with it.
Moreover, the Gym is a place that teaches humility. When you pick up a very very heavy weight and fail to lift it, it reminds you very sharply of your humanity, and therefore the people who grunt the loudest, probably smile the most and are just hoping that you enjoy yourself in the gym more than anything else.
Yes. There are some idiots about the place and that can’t be avoided as much in the gym as it can at work. But I promise you, no one in that building; over there is judging you more than you are judging yourself. Remember that.
The Active Wear Gang
And the skinny women strutting around in their Gym Shark sports bras and high-waisted leggings…well as I am not one of them I can’t really comment on what they are thinking. But what I would suggest is this; you don’t know their story as much as they don’t know yours.
If you think that wannabe Instagram Model has everything in her life sorted because of how she looks then it’s surprising how quickly you have become one of your own biggest issues: someone who is judging others.
You more than likely have more in common with that person than you ever thought possible.
Often when I catch myself looking at someone in the gym, its never thought about what that person is doing, the way they look, or who they think they are…often it is about whether that has had a nice day…or whether we may become friends, or how I wish I could smile in the way that they do.
It has zero to do with their appearance or what they are doing.
Walking a day in someone else’s shoes is very tiring, and recently I have had lots of judgement levelled at me on Instagram. It’s not very nice to receive of course.
Just remember this: if you don’t want to be judged, then don’t judge others.
And the more out of practice you get with judging others, the less judged you will feel.
Being Afraid To Go To The Gym Because You Are Fat
It breaks my heart that I have to write this section. But upon researching this article there was a search term that showed up:
The Gym can be an “uncomfortable” environment if you don’t make it work for you. For example, I am 6ft 4in tall, and that means that an awful lot of the machines that are in the gym are too small for me. I feel squished and very uncomfortable when I am using them.
So I simply do not use them. I use free weights instead.
There is no rule that states “you must use machines”. In the same way there is no rule that states you must use equipment that makes you physically uncomfortable when you are in the gym.
I get it. The seats on these machines can be small, even I find them uncomfortable sometimes so I can empathise.
That is the smaller side of this.
The other part of this, is how you feel just being in the Gym.
I have had a number of people who have worked with me and they simply couldn’t look at themselves in the mirror when working out. They hated what they saw so much that whenever there was an exercise that might mean they were in front of a mirror I had to stand between them and it just to make sure that they felt comfortable enough.
One friend that I worked with for over 2 years, we did every single workout in a part of the Gym where there were no mirrors.
This meant that in an environment where she should feel comfortable and be able to work on her confidence, she could. It worked really well, she had fun, and above all…she found a level of comfort in the Gym.
Which is all anyone wants.
There can be a lot of mirrors in the Gym, and it can feel like you are constantly on show to yourself.
But there is no rule that says you must workout in front of a mirror.
If you want, grab some weights and train where there is no mirror. Train where you feel comfortable, train in a place that makes you happy.
At the end of the day, the Gym is an open space for everyone to explore movement in the way in which they chose too.
If being too fat for the Gym is a huge driving force behind your anxiety about going, then please remember that just being there, just being able to put your foot through the door is the biggest win there is. - and that should be celebrated as much as possible.
As King Lear said:
“Nothing can come of nothing. If you invest in nothing you get nothing in return”
And showing up, and being there is getting the party started. You can hold your head full of pride a
Anything on top of that just makes the party raise the roof even more!
Just showing up is the battle you need to conquer.
If that means turning up and doing 2 minutes. Turning up is the most important aspect of what you achieved.
Turning up is always the most important aspect of what you will achieve.
That is the majority of the work.
If you can do that, great things will happen for you.
If the Gym just isn’t something you can face right now, then you can just work out at home.
The issue many people find here is being able to create the right energy for working out in their home space.
So here is my best trick for that:
Step 1: Lay out everything you need to workout
Step 2: Put some workout music on
Step 3: Leave the house and go for a 2-3miute walk
Step 4: Come back with the complete intention of only working out
Basically all you need to do is replicate the Gym environment as best you can, then you will be far more likely to actually workout.
As for what workouts to do at Home head here.
What To Do When You Actually Get To The Gym
What to do is the most important and underutilised aspect of training.
Chances are if you have just signed up for a new gym, you will be entitled to an Induction at the gym. This is a moment for the gym to tick off some insurance necessity, and to try and confuse and scare you into either: never using the gym again (they make a lot of money off people never showing up) or to make you buy a block of PT sessions.
I would encourage you to do the induction, so you can get your bearings, and just find out a little about the Gym Floor, but make it very clear from the offset that you have a plan and that you want to follow that, to begin with. My reasons for this are the following:
The plans that you will get at an induction are very often pre-written, pre-judged and take into account none of your preferences; the main one being enjoyment.
If you get a stick-on plan from a human that you have only met because they are taking your money and whom you have no rapport then you aren’t going to get a plan that you enjoy.
And the most important thing about your time spent in the gym is enjoyment.
“Enjoyment leads to adherence, adherence leads to action, action leads to results, results lead to motivation”
So take the “Free” Induction. Discover how uninterested the PT is, and he is just hoping you will sign up for his free session before paying £900 for a block of ten sessions.
Use this induction to be able to tick off a number of things you don’t enjoy. Through that process of elimination, you can start to discover what you really enjoy out of the gym. Once you start discovering what you enjoy and what you don’t you will go more often and that will lead to the results you want.
The actual what of your time in the gym will be best-spent weight training. But only if you enjoy it. If you enjoy Cardio…do that…just understand it will breed less efficient results as you will adapt quickly to it, and then the mode of exercise will need to be made longer. With resistance training, you just slap a new plate on the bar and away you go.
You need a plan of action. A programme. One that will test you.
The Gym is as much a numbers game as it is an emotional one. And you need to learn to fall in love you with your numbers. There are thousands of workout apps out there.
There are thousands of Personal Trainers who will accept you into their Tribe and give you plans galore to follow. Just pick one route, of resistance training, give it your all for a good four to six months and enjoy the benefits that being patient and consistent bring.
You can, of course, get a number of things from me:
But I’m not here to sell to you. I’m here to help you.
Let’s Conclude
The sheer fact you are reading this and want to get into the gym is the biggest win you can have. The rest is easy once you have decided upon that. But here it is in a summary:
Everyone makes it up as they go along through exploration…not some secret knowledge that you will not be able to ever learn
Everyone feels like a fraud from time to time. Exposure to the stimulus helps us overcome that through experience
No one in the gym is judging you more than you are judging yourself. The amount of focus you put upon yourself in the gym environment is exactly what everyone else is doing. You are not that important to these people. Phew!
Your “What To Do In The Gym” is more important than your “Why am I in the Gym” and it’s important you go to the gym doing stuff you enjoy. Enjoyment will lead to sustainability. Sustainability leads to results.
Get a training plan. Stick with it for at least four to six months and understand we are learning, adapting, and still discovering what we enjoy about the work we are doing. It takes time. Give yourself that freedom, rather than the pressure of a short term goal and a quick fix hope.
I really really hope this article has helped you and alleviated some of the pressure you were feeling from your anxiety about going to the Gym.
Did you find this useful?
I have plenty more articles about the Gym and how to overcome your struggles in there:
Here is a selection I think would make great further reading for you:
Added to that it would be AMAZING if you joined my free Facebook Group.
It is called Straightforward Fat Loss.
I do one Live Training a week in there based on topics which are designed to make your Fat Loss Journey as straightforward as possible.
It would be so wonderful to see you in there…to jpin just click on the button below and you will by transported at the speed of light to a grateful and welcoming bunch of people who really do just want to help everyone as much as they can.
Or you can send me that friend request we spoke about earlier…
I hope you found this article useful and that my tips help you want to go to the gym to get stronger and more confident.
I cannot wait to see you again soon…
Coach Adam